Premier League managers are supposedly employed to organise football teams, develop players and make substitutions at precisely the right moment. Yet every weekend, they are also required to complete another important assignment: standing in unpredictable British weather while attempting to look like everything is under control.
The technical area has consequently become an unlikely fashion show. There are immaculate overcoats, aggressively practical tracksuits, mysterious luxury knitwear and padded jackets capable of surviving an overnight expedition in the Pennines.
Some managers dress for the boardroom. Others look ready to join the warm-up. A few appear to have misunderstood the forecast entirely.
Here is a thoroughly unserious guide to the fashion tribes found on Premier League touchlines.
Mikel Arteta: The Luxury Knitwear Headmaster
Mikel Arteta dresses like the headmaster of an extremely exclusive school where every pupil must maintain the correct distance between the lines.
His preferred look involves sharply cut trousers, spotless trainers and knitwear that probably has its own insurance policy. When the temperature drops, out comes the tailored coat. It is usually dark, structured and just long enough to billow dramatically while Arteta objects to a throw-in.
Nothing looks accidental. His hair remains fixed through rain, wind and late opposition equalisers. His jumper never rides up while he waves both arms. Even when he leaves the technical area for the 14th time, the outfit retains its shape.
Arteta’s clothes communicate precision. This is a man who has planned the press, the set pieces and the exact position of every zip. If an Arsenal player arrived wearing the wrong shade of black, there would presumably be a detailed video review on Monday morning.
Signature item: A quarter-zip jumper with greater tactical awareness than most midfielders.
Overall impression: Private members’ club meets elite football laboratory.
Unai Emery: European Professor on a Difficult Field Trip
Unai Emery understands that a manager needs to look respectable, but he also knows that football matches involve rain, mud and…
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