Singletons rejoice! Study reveals being alone is GOOD for you – because it provides a unique opportunity for personal growth


If you’ve spent years fruitlessly searching for ‘The One’, scientists have some good news.

A new study has shown that being alone is good for you – because it provides a unique opportunity for personal growth.

Experts have found that people who see singlehood as an opportunity rather than a setback are more likely to try new hobbies, travel, learn new skills and spend time with friends.

Those with this mindset also reported being happier overall, feeling more independent and having a greater connection to others in their life.

They also reported being less afraid of staying single and were more satisfied with their singlehood.

‘Singlehood is a critical stage of personal development and encompasses upwards of 40 per cent of adults – including those who have never partnered or been married, and those re-entering singlehood following breakup or divorce,’ the researchers wrote in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

‘This research provides novel evidence that singlehood is an important context in which people can expand their sense of self.’

Lead author Elina Moreno, from the University of Toronto, explained: ‘Seizing the opportunity to try new things, meet new people, and develop new hobbies can significantly improve not only the way you feel about being single, but also how you feel about your life in general.’

A new study has shown that being alone is good for you ¿ because it provides a unique opportunity for personal growth. Pictured: Bridget Jones

A new study has shown that being alone is good for you – because it provides a unique opportunity for personal growth. Pictured: Bridget Jones

The study, which involved more than 600 single participants, found 82 per cent use close friends and family to help broaden their horizons.

Nearly one in five, meanwhile, said they embrace new experiences entirely on their own – suggesting going solo can also be an opportunity for growth.

Ms Moreno said that while some single people desire a romantic relationship, others choose to stay alone in order to focus on personal or professional goals.

She said the findings do not mean single life is better than being in a couple.

Instead, they underscore that being single can be another opportunity for growth.

‘If people want to maintain their singlehood, self-expanding experiences could be beneficial for bolstering their well-being over time and providing them with opportunities to get to know themselves,’ she explained.

‘Alternatively, if a single person is seeking a romantic relationship, they could still make the most of their singlehood and experience personal growth along the way.’

Overall, the researchers argue the key is to view life without a partner as a chance for personal growth rather than simply waiting for a relationship.

They concluded: ‘This research extends the self-expansion framework by recognizing singlehood as a meaningful outlet for people to expand their sense of self and the world around them.

‘Understanding how to foster positive beliefs about singlehood as having the potential to engage in personal growth and self-expansion serves to be a fruitful avenue for future research in order to better support the rising numbers of single adults in society.’

A separate study, published last year, found that while most single men are really unhappy, single women tend to be happy with their relationship status.

‘Overall, single women appear to be higher in their overall well-being compared to men,’ the researchers wrote in their study, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science .

‘At a broader level, our findings appear to run counter to existing stereotypes regarding women as the uniquely unhappy gender in singlehood.’

WHEN YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER

Kale Monk, assistant professor of human development and family science at University of Missouri says on-off relationships are associated with higher rates of abuse, poorer communication and lower levels of commitment.

People in these kinds of relationships should make informed decisions about either staying together once and for all or terminating their relationship.

Here are his top five tips to work out whether it’s the right time to end your relationship – 

1. When considering rekindling a relationship that ended or avoiding future breakups, partners should think about the reasons they broke up to determine if there are consistent or persistent issues impacting the relationship.

2. Having explicit conversations about issues that have led to break ups can be helpful, especially if the issues will likely reoccur. If there was ever violence in the relationship, however, or if having a conversation about relationship issues can lead to safety concerns, consider seeking support-services when it is safe to do so.

3. Similar to thinking about the reasons the relationship ended, spend time thinking about the reasons why reconciliation might be an option. Is the reason rooted in commitment and positive feelings, or more about obligations and convenience? The latter reasons are more likely to lead down a path of continual distress.

4. Remember that it is okay to end a toxic relationship. For example, if your relationship is beyond repair, do not feel guilty leaving for your mental or physical well-being.

5. Couples therapy or relationship counselling is not just for partners on the brink of divorce. Even happy dating and married couples can benefit from ‘relationship check-ups’ in order to strengthen the connection between partners and have additional support in approaching relationship transitions.

Yakova

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